Fighting for Yourself: A Journey of Self-Love and Boundaries

Fighting for Yourself

The greatest victory is when you fight not against someone else, but against yourself. You will certainly fall many times, be wounded, broken, and scarred, but in the end, you will win. You will receive the most precious trophy: yourself. It’s a battle to be fought primarily with yourself, every day, for a better version of who you are.

And though my words and feelings are filled with deep pain, they are also filled with wisdom that has, over time, through reflection and experience, transformed into inner strength.

The fight for yourself is a process that requires courage—not only to make decisions but also to set boundaries, to accept your worth, and to take responsibility for your well-being.

My experience of being there for others, but not for myself, is a story shared by many.

We try to fill the emptiness around us, ignoring what’s happening inside.

We are often conditioned to prioritize helping others over meeting our own needs. Especially as women, influenced by societal expectations, and burdened by childhood experiences, the adult-child syndrome, or the desire to save everyone and the world, we forget that the first step should be to save ourselves. We need to start with us.

Fighting for Yourself

Fighting for yourself is something that isn’t visible on the outside. It’s not about grand gestures or epic battles. It’s about small, daily choices—the decision to pause, understand your emotions and needs, and then responsibly fulfill them, even if it means stepping back from helping others. Even if it means walking away. It’s about resisting the urge to sacrifice yourself for someone else’s sake.

I am a living example of how easily you can forget your own worth for many years, and how difficult it is to regain balance, especially when your mental health, and consequently physical health, is at stake.

This is not an easy battle—it’s a daily training that requires consistency. It’s not about becoming someone else overnight, but about restoring self-respect, learning to let go, and recognizing when helping others compromises your own well-being. Before we begin healing others, we must first learn how to heal ourselves.

The Desire to Help vs. Healthy Boundaries

When we desperately want something to work, it’s easy to fall into the trap of sacrificing ourselves. Often, when we notice that someone isn’t meeting our expectations or reacting the way we want, instead of clearly expressing our needs and setting boundaries, we try to "save" them. We put their well-being above our own. This happens especially when we invest a lot emotionally or when we are deeply committed to making something work.

My story shows how hard it is, in those moments, to say “no”—to the other person, and to ourselves. "We have similar stories, we can help each other, I want it to work," these words reflect a deep desire to fix, to solve, to give chances. But sometimes, when we try to save others, we lose sight of our own value. What seems like help is, in reality, a sacrifice that leads nowhere. We stop being equals in the relationship and instead take on the role of the "rescuer." And that’s not healthy for either party.

My love relationship experiences forced me to reflect on how many times in my life I had ignored clear signs—signs from the universe and from my own heart. In the name of "understanding," "acceptance," and "compassion," I ignored my boundaries and my needs. I gave everything to save someone, but I didn’t take care of saving myself. How easily I forgot about myself, how many times I gave up on my dreams and desires to give others what I needed for myself.

It’s so easy to get stuck in a pattern where we continuously put others before ourselves.

We do it with the belief that we are doing something noble, that we are strong and capable of enduring anything, even at the cost of our own happiness. But eventually, the truth hits us: nothing will change until we learn to love ourselves first. Until we realize that our worth isn’t based on how much we are willing to sacrifice for others, but on how we care for ourselves and set healthy boundaries. This is difficult, but essential to finding balance and true love—love that is mutual and provides space for both support and growth, not just one-sided sacrifice.

From a perspective of time, I now realize how important it is to be aware of our boundaries, desires, and needs to avoid falling into the trap of one-sided relationships. We must learn to listen to ourselves, because only then will we be able to create relationships that are real and based on mutual respect.

I am incredibly grateful for my all life experiences because, although it initially seemed full of hope, it was exactly what I needed to open my eyes to myself and to what I truly want in relationships. If I hadn’t had the courage to express my position, my expectations, I probably would have allowed this relationships to continue in a way that would have provided me with nothing valuable. Instead, I made the decision to be honest, which allowed me to see who I was really dealing with.

This experiences showed me how important it is not to be afraid to stand in your truth, even if it means ending something that initially seemed promising. Sometimes, what appears to be a failure at first is the best lesson. And for that, I’m now grateful, for the ending of this story, which didn’t align with reality.

A Lesson on Boundaries and Self-Wort

My unfinished lesson, my failed exam, is one on setting boundaries—not just in relationships with others, but also in my relationship with myself. Because even though I am honest and express my feelings, I still allow them to be diminished to avoid losing the other person. But if we don’t take care of ourselves, set boundaries, and define what is good for us, we begin to feel burned out, tired, lost, undervalued, and not enough. Sometimes, it takes someone else to pull us out of the illusion of “saving” others and remind us that our value doesn’t depend on how much we give at the expense of ourselves.

Awareness is a crucial step in the process of reclaiming ourselves. It’s the moment when we start to realize that self-respect is key to not repeating the mistakes of the past. Instead of putting someone else first in a relationship, we begin to see the value in being authentic, in respecting our boundaries, and not sacrificing ourselves.

What Are We Learning?

In our relationships with others, it’s important to ask ourselves, "What am I learning?" rather than just "What am I giving?" And to look inside, ask, "What is happening with me?" instead of focusing only on the other person’s needs. This is the beginning of a true healing process, one that starts within ourselves.

In relationships, even if we love someone, we must remember that love begins with respect for ourselves, our boundaries, and our needs. Self-love is the starting point for true love in all relationships, including those with ourselves.

And as we fight for ourselves—our boundaries, our truth, and our growth—we must learn that we are worthy of a relationship where we don’t have to compromise who we are. Sometimes, the hardest decision to make is the one to walk away, but it’s often the one that leads to the most peace and clarity.

#signlemommess #fightingforyourself